A lot of people ask how and when I knew I was gay.

This is how.

Thank you Ray for helping me make this story readable and taking care of posting it to Nifty and putting it on your site.

Please write to the links at the top or make a comment at the bottom so I can know how or if you liked it and thank Ray for working so hard on it.

-Ed

Does everybody reading this remember always having a best friend? Please write and let me know, because I don't. I had friends, and I hung out with them, and sometimes one at a time, but I don't remember thinking of any of them as any different than the others. We were all friends, some better than others, but no single one of them was any closer or special to me. Not until the summer between seventh and eighth grades.

I grew up in Anderson, Indiana. I was born in the same house I grew up in, and had the same friends all those years, until the larger school in seventh and eighth grades, then high school.

The first thing I can remember finding sexually thrilling, though I didn't know that was what it was, was a pissing contest. I think it was fourth grade or so, about eight years old. Maybe seven. Some friends and I were at the park, and it was getting late, and we probably should have started heading home. But we were eight or so, and beginning to be allowed to go play and trusted to come home on time, and beginning to stretch our boundaries and our parents' rules.

But it was getting late, the sun was nearly setting, and I had to pee, but I didn't want to go home. If I did, like all of them, I wouldn't be allowed to go back out. David said he had to pee, and went behind the little shed the mowers and rakes and stuff for the park were kept in. I followed with the others, and giggling like the little kids we were, we all whipped out our winkies and sent streams of pee onto the back wall of the shed. The sun just illuminated our hands and the ends of our thingies, and I could see them as we laughed and peed. And for the first time, I felt a weird tingly-tickly sensation in my lower tummy. It was just like when I hung over the parallel bars on my waist, and if I got it just right, it tickled and tingled down there like crazy. Now, watching them hold themselves like that, and being able to see the ends of them, those funny tingles shot up from down there. I loved the feeling.

I also loved how they were all so different. Some seemed sort of rounded, some more pointed, and some even had a bundle of skin on the end that they had to pull back, making the end come poking out in a weird and fascinating way. They were all so interesting.

After that, I tried pretty often to have to pee when I was with the guys, so that I could see their things again. It was always fun and exciting.

It seemed like a normal kind of game, and I didn't think anything about it, other than it was a kind of secret fun that I didn't tell anyone about. I don't know why, it just didn't seem the kind of thing you told about.

By sixth grade I began to realize that I liked looking at other boys, and that I wanted to see them naked, and touch them in private places, and that it wasn't normal. My friends were saying the same things about girls, but girls didn't interest me nearly as much. They started saying that boobs weren't so bad instead of insisting that they were gross. And they started talking about girls' butts, and even that weird, forbidden, unknown place, that mystery of mysteries; the vagina.

At first it was secret-talk, one on one, whispered in near shame and with blushed faces and embarrassed grins. Then later more loudly and in groups. By the end of sixth grade, most of my friends were openly saying words like pussy, clit, and twat, and not as curses. They compared girls' anatomies, remarking on who had the biggest tits, the nicest asses, the prettiest hair or lips or eyes. Who walked sexiest. Girls became the most common topic by the end of sixth grade, and that summer was filled with exciting things.

We got daring and bold with each other about sex things and nudity. David had a pool at his house, and we spent a lot of time there. Several boys playing in the water and beginning to talk about girls led to bulges in our trunks. It led to bulges in theirs, anyway, and that led to a bulge in mine.

That summer all of us compared our willies for the first time. For the first real time, anyway. Before then we had sort of shown and compared, not really comparing sizes. I liked it a lot, and wished I had the guts to try to get the guys to all the time, but I was sensing that it would make me stand out, be different, and I didn't want that.

When a bunch of us were over at Jim's house on a weekend, we did a real comparison for the first time. They were bragging about having huge dicks when they grew up, and Lance said he didn't have to wait to grow up, that he had a huge one already. When he swam with us I had noticed he did have a big bulge in his trunks, like Mike and Paul. Some of the guys laughed and called him a liar, and he said he would prove it if everybody showed theirs so he wasn't the only one. It took a minute, but we were all talked into showing ours too. I wasn't talked into it, I said I would when David and Mike said they would if Lance did. I got hard even thinking about seeing theirs, like I usually did by then at even the thought of it, and I got worried that I would be the only one hard. Some of the guys had to be talked into it, sort of, but we all stood in a circle and pulled out or dicks. Some of the guys weren't hard, while some of us were. I was relieved to see others were, and I wondered if that meant they liked this the way I did.

Then they said how it had to be hard to really see what size it was. The guys with soft ones played with theirs to get them hard. Lance and Mike were so close in size that they had to drop their pants and underwear and stand face to face. It was still hard to tell, so they had to put them side by side, pointing at each other, and step right up to each other so that the ends touched each other's skin of their hips.

Lance was so worried that his would touch Mike's that it was almost funny. I thought how if it was me there, I would be touching it to his on purpose. I would hold onto his, on purpose, pretending I had to so that it would be steady or something. I wondered if I could come up with some reason to put my hand under his balls and hold them and play with them.

Mike said it wasn't fair that Lance had that pointy, loose skin on the end of it, so Lance had to pull it back. Seeing Lance pull that skin back so on purpose made my dick move in my hand. He held that skin back and they leaned together until the end of Lance's pink, shiny head touched the skin next to the base of Mike's willy. There was still just a bit of space between the tip of Mike's prick and Lance's hip.

That was the most excitingly sexy moment of my life so far. I was so hard. I knew how to make it hard, and how to play with it, but I didn't know what I was doing yet, so what tingles I got from touching it were nothing compared to what I got later when I learned how to masturbate for real. But the tingles I got from being so close to Mike's and Lance's hard peters were the best ones so far. And I noticed how much I liked seeing their butts. The curve as they protruded outward from their backs, then out and around and back in at their thighs. And the crease up the center, hiding but accentuating what was inside of it by the hiding of it.

I couldn't get those sights out of my head. Not that I wanted to, either. I held onto those visions on purpose. It was excruciatingly exciting.

I stayed hard for so long after that that I worried it had broken and would stay hard forever. I got worried that I would have to tell my folks and my doctor why my willy was hard and wouldn't get soft again. It was mortifying. When it finally went down later, I got so relieved.

There were other exciting times that summer. Like when Mike dared us all to skinny dip in David's pool when his folks were away. We weren't even supposed to be at his house, let alone using his pool when they weren't home. Mike took off his trunks and threw them on the deck, laughing and calling us cowards. David took his off. Then Gary. Then me. Then the rest. Then we ended up pushing and shoving each other around and under the water and wrestling around. They called each other and me fags for having wood, but they all had it. Health class said it happened sometimes and didn't mean anything, and we all said so. But I knew mine meant something. I just knew it. Because there were crazy tingles in it, in my tummy, and my chest, and really all over and all inside of me. Especially during the play fights and wrestling around with them all being naked and hard.

I got up the guts to accidentally touch back after I had been touched a few times. I figured it was all accidents anyway. But mine weren't, not after the first ones on my woody. That hardness there, and the softness of their balls, and how squishy they felt. And I even felt David's, Ben's, and Paul's butts. So smooth! So firm. So soft!

I wished a thousand times that we did that again, but no one ever did. I wanted to, but I was far too shy to bring it up, even if I knew how to. I was like Steve and Casey, quieter and less rambunctious. Only Mike and Lance were so brash and bold. Sometimes Paul. Maybe it was that they were slightly the older ones of us. Or maybe it was that they had the biggest ones. Or maybe they had the biggest ones because they were slightly older.

Lance didn't start much of the sexy stuff. Really only that comparison episode, probably just to prove he thought he had the biggest.

Paul never started anything like that, and sometimes didn't take part when it was started.

Mike liked to pull down the front of his trunks and flash his wiener at us. It was sort of his version of giving the finger. He would even do it when he was wearing shorts that he could yank the front down quickly. I found that so very exciting. It made things happen in my pants, and in my belly, chest, and all over my skin when he did that. It started sometime in fourth grade, but by the summer after sixth, he was doing it more often, but only when it was a smaller group of us. If there were lots of us, he never did that.

They called him a fag, or told him to put it away. They all looked away and laughed and didn't look back. It was really difficult for me to look away. I never saw any bulges in their swim trunks when he did that at David's pool, but I would have to make sure I was in the water or lying on my stomach to hide what happened in mine.

By that summer after sixth grade, Mike was pulling his trunks or shorts down farther, and seeing his balls was a regular thing. I can't even describe how huge a thrill that was becoming. I started saying things to him when it was a small enough group of us so that he would do it. Mike's was the second-largest of all of us, only Lance had a longer one, and when Mike would flash it, it would sort of sway or swing, and that was just so exciting. It was never little, or all shriveled up or something, like sometimes mine was. But mine would so quickly get hard when he did that. Even when I started thinking about getting him to do it, mine would start getting hard.

I loved having it hard. It tingled and tickled, and I just really loved it. By my twelfth birthday I was playing with it everyday; in the morning before I got out of bed, when I was alone during the day, and at night in bed. I didn't know if that was normal or not, but I knew that what I liked to look at or think about wasn't normal at all. By twelve, I knew that liking to see naked boys wasn't right or normal. I knew I was supposed to like girls, and thinking about girls, and that thinking about naked girls and girl parts was supposed to make it hard. It did, sort of, but it wasn't nearly as exciting or interesting as thinking about naked boys or boy parts.

But my life changed dramatically one night late in the summer between seventh and eighth grades.

We were invited to stay over at Paul's one weekend. Five of us. Paul had an older brother and he went off to college that week, and he left a bunch of porno magazines with his brother. Paul excitedly bragged about it all week, and invited just a few of us over that weekend. His folks were going to Indianapolis with his brother to help him move in, and Paul barely got out of going by saying he was going to stay over at Lance's house. Lance got permission, and on Saturday, when we were supposed to go stay at his house, Lance told his folks were were going to stay at Ben's instead. Which was no big deal, but it meant that we could stay at Paul's instead, and no one's parents would know the difference. Ben's folks didn't have a phone, and there weren't cellphones back then, or internet, so we knew we would get away with it.

When six boys are alone in a house together, twelve, thirteen, and fourteen-year-old boys, and one of them supplies porn magazines, and half of them had never seen porn magazines before, I know now that what happened was probably pretty normal. Back then, though, I thought I had been given a gift from God.

Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, Oui. Those names will reverberate through my memory for the rest of my life.

We played at the park, then went to our houses for dinner and to get our sleeping bags and stuff, then headed over to Paul's. By six we were all there, and Paul got out a small box. He opened it as we crowded around, and he pulled out a stack of magazines. He passed out one magazine to each of us. I was handed Playboy, March 1978. It was almost new. My dick was already hard. I opened it and saw that first picture, my dick jumped around in my pants. It was astounding. The mystery was revealed. All of them, actually. It was hairy down there, like I heard it got, and how I heard boys would get. She spread it open, she stuck her fingers into it, she even stuck them into her asshole. She cupped and rubbed her tits, and had hard nipples.

I was feeling tingles and thrills beyond even what seeing Mike's swinging dick did to me. Everyone was gasping and crowing, and laughing, and trying to hide the fact that they had boners. Except Mike and Lance. They actually played with theirs in their pants. They didn't stick their hands down their pants, just toyed with it through the material.

That was just as exciting as the pictures in the magazines! When I saw them doing that, my dick went crazy! I shivered all over, too. Even my breath got short. I went back to looking at the magazine so that I wasn't caught looking at the two of them touching themselves. We all did, though, just in really sly ways, and only for the briefest of moments. Just to keep it from being trapped awkwardly I guess. I was having to do so to keep it from crawling out of my shorts and down my leg! It sure felt like it was going to!

Then we switched magazines, and then my life changed. Hustler, the previous May. And it had a naked man in it! I had to remember to breathe! I actually remember my breath stopping! Honest! I sucked in air and got so dizzy! And my dick did something it had never done before.

He was kissing and then fondling the naked girl, and his huge, hairy dick was touching her leg in the first picture of them naked. Then they were lying down and he was about to stick it in her. His body was like a marble statue, except for the hair. He was pretty hairy, all over, sandy blond. His balls were amazing! They way they were so huge, and hung down so low! And I could see his ass! I wanted to be that girl so bad!

The next picture showed a close-up of his enormous dick, the details sharp and clear and almost magnified on the large page. The dark head was against the lips of her pussy, his balls hanging so low and looking so wonderful. Then the next picture showed the pink flesh of her twat gripping it as it slid inside.

Something happened to me.

When I was eight, I had touched an exposed electrical wire. The current went up my arm to my chest, then down that same side to my leg. It was kind of warm, and wiggly, and really weird, and I was scared to death. I thought in that brief instant that I was going to die. But when I jerked back, and realized I had survived, it wasn't so bad. I thought it had kind of felt nice, in a weird way. My muscles sort of vibrated.

As I looked at the first naked man I had ever seen, half of his beautiful cock inside a pussy, his balls hanging, my whole body felt that way again, but softer and with far more fuzzy warmth. It seemed centered in my groin. Not just my little, so incredibly hard, dick, but in my balls, and behind them, and all around there. Even in my tummy and chest, too. But it was centered down there, all around down there, and it was fuzzy, warm, vibrating, and electric. And my body shivered and my breath stopped again, and my dick seemed to bend repeatedly as those warm, fuzzy, vibrating electrical thrills filled it up over and over.

Something weird and different was happening, and it felt incredible! I was shaking so hard that I almost dropped the magazine. My dick felt like it was swelling up and bending to a weird rhythm, again and again. My balls felt as if they were moving all on their own. That space behind them was pulsing in time with my dick. It was awesome!

When it finally stopped, I gasped in air and felt warm and flushed. And I tingled all over. And my dick ached. So did the place behind it, and my balls. And it all tingled down there in a new, weird, wonderful way.

I wasn't really interested in looking at the magazine anymore, but I was still interested, too. Just nowhere as much. I wasn't going to stop looking at the pictures, that was for sure! They just didn't seem nearly as fascinating. Not as thrilling. But after two more magazine swaps, I was becoming more interested again.

Now I held a Penthouse, which was mostly talk. Only one series of pictures of a single girl, who I thought was kind of ugly. She showed off everything. I noticed that her pussy looked different, too. They all looked almost the same, but they were all different, too, in ways.

Chris said, "Ohhhhh, God!" really slowly and softly, and sort of curled up and rolled on his side, barely holding onto the magazine. He was red-faced and looked stunned. "Ughhh!" He sort of shivered.

"Chris is gettin' off!" Paul laughed.

Everyone laughed.

Chris was sort of shy, and hardly ever hung out with any of us. He lived near all of us, and was in my grade. He had never swam at David's house, and I didn't really do much with all of us, but he was a good friend of Paul's because he lived across the street and their parents worked with each other or something, and played cards together. They sort of were forced to be friends.

"It feels weird!" Chris said, looking scared now.

"It's okay, dude, you just got off is all," Lance said.

Chris tossed the magazine away and sat up, holding onto his groin, still looking worried or scared.

"It's okay, honest, man," Lance said. "You got an orgasm is all."

"No way!" Chris argued.

"Sure. I bet you're all wet down there, maybe."

"Huh?"

Mike leaned over and actually shoved his hand down Chris' pants.

"Get your hand out!" Chris yelled at him.

Mike pulled it out and rubbed his thumb and fingers together. He laughed.

"He did!"

Mike showed us the wetness on his fingers. I was amazed! I wondered if I had got my shorts wet. I almost checked. Instead, I stared at Mike's shiny fingers. Mike sniffed them. Everyone went, "Ewww!" Mike laughed then wiped his fingers on the carpet.

"Don't put his jizz on my carpet!" Paul complained.

"I got to wash it!" Chris said.

"Stand up," Mike told him.

"Huh?"

"Just stand up, wuss. Be a fuckin' man."

Chris did, and Mike unfastened his pants and pulled them and his shorts down. I was dumbstruck! I had never seen Chris', and stared. I don't know if anyone else looked or not, because I just looked at it. It was about my size, so was his sack. It was half-hard, and all shiny and wet on the end. It was rosy-red, too.

"It really leaked?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, you shot off, dude!" Mike said.

"Get a washrag," Lance said to Paul.

Paul did, and then handed it to Mike. I watched as he wiped Chris' peter clean. Chris giggled and wiggled like mad.

"God, it tickles!" Chris said as he wiped it.

When he was done, and let go of it, the skin rolled over the end of it, covering it up.

"Congrats, Chris!" Mike said, then slapped his ass.

Chris laughed, and got even more red-faced. In my pants, my dick danced. Mike had touched Chris' ass! I was so jealous! And that he was so close to Chris' naked peter! God, how I wanted to be that close to it!

Chris pulled his shorts and jeans back up and the view of a lifetime was over. But my dick was still dancing. It felt sort of sore, too. And that weird kind of heavy pressure behind my sack and in front of my asshole was coming back again. I really liked it. It was sort of way in the background, like when I tickled it when I was alone, but now I knew that it could come way up and take over my entire body.

I wondered again if I had gotten wet, too, like Chris. I wanted to go check, but I didn't want the guys to know, or talk about me while I was in the bathroom, so I sat there and looked at the sort of ugly girl in the magazine.

Chris sat down and picked up the magazine he had been looking at, and flipped through it. I could tell he wasn't that interested now. That made me even more sure I had leaked too. I had to know.

"Piss break," I said and tossed the magazine in the box.

"Don't pull it off!" Mike said with a laugh.

"Ha-ha," I fake-laughed

As soon as I closed the bathroom door, I dropped my pants and inspected myself. It was damp, but not wet. It was really slippery, like oil, but sticky, too, like honey. It even made a short, little string as I took my fingers away from my dick. My shorts were damp too. And it tingled like mad at even the littlest touch. It felt incredible! I sniffed it. It smelled really... different. Kind of almost... yummy?

I heard giggles and looked at the door. I saw shadows moving through the crack below it. I turned to the toilet, pulled up and fastened my pants and made like I was pissing. The door flew open and they were all standing there, ready to point and laugh.

"Homos!" I yelled.

They were disappointed. It got soft, and I pissed, then washed it really quickly, and my hands, then went back out. They were still pouring over the magazines, and when I sat down I was handed a Hustler from last summer. And lo and behold, it had two men and a woman in it! All together!

One guy was dark-skinned and had black hair, and was so very hairy. His dick was nice and big, probably average, and his balls were nice, too.

The other guy was totally blond, all over, and had a huge one! It had to be something like ten inches long! And it was all bulgy and thick, and his balls hung down lower than I thought any ever could. But what an ass! It was the best one I had ever seen!

There were a ton of pictures, and the guys did everything to her! Everything! One fucked her pussy while the other went in the asshole! She looked like she was screaming. She sucked the darker guy while the other fucked her pussy, probably filling it all the way up! Then she sucked that huge, blond dick while the darker guy went in her back door.

Then the darker guy shot his semen all over her back! Wow was that an awesome sight! Then the blond guy put it all over her face! My dick was dancing again, and this time it was way more intensely tingly! It wasn't as much as that wild few moments earlier when it leaked, and I had my first orgasm, but it was nearly so. I knew I could have another one real soon, and I sure wanted to!

Ben grunted, like he had been softly punched, then got really red-faced and bent over the magazine he was looking at. He let go of the magazine and held his crotch and groaned really quietly. We all noticed.

"Ben's turn!" Mike said and pointed.

"Shut up!" Ben complained.

"Like it?" Mike asked.

"Oh, God!" Ben said after a couple of seconds, then, "Fucking... cool!"

He looked up and had the hugest grin.

"It's like, the fucking best, huh?" Mike asked him.

"Hell yeah!"

"How would you know?" Lance asked Mike.

"I've been doing it since school ended, that's how," Mike answered.

"No way," Lance argued.

"Hey, you might have the biggest, but I bet I shot the first."

Lance got a little angry looking. "Bet I shoot more," he said.

"Bet not," Mike said.

They stared at each other. I was praying they would go for a contest. I begged it to happen. They backed down. I was so let down.

"How'd you do it?" Chris asked.

I didn't know who he was asking.

Mike said, "I saw a porno, remember? You just stroke it up and down."

"I mean," Chris said to Ben, "How'd you do it without jerking it off?"

"I don't know!" Ben said a little angry.

"So did I," I said.

They looked at me and I regretted it.

"You did?" Mike asked.

I shrugged.

"How come we didn't notice."

"I don't know. I sort of stayed still, I guess."

"No way you did," Mike argued.

"That's why I went to the bathroom!" I argued back. "To see if so!"

"But you didn't let on!" Mike said.

"I almost did. I tried not to."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Or I pissed a little and it was slippery, sticky pee."

They all laughed.

"Prove it," Mike dared.

"How?"

"It'll still be wet, a little, right?"

I shrugged. I thought how I hadn't dried it after washing it, so it should still be, even if it was water now, not what I had leaked. I nodded.

"Show us."

"Fag," Lance said jokingly.

Mike gave him a fast, angry glare and then Lance shook his head a little.

Mike looked back at me and said, "Show us."

It was horribly embarrassing. I wished I had kept my mouth shut. Then I thought how exciting it was. I was so hard still. And it was all such a fun kind of embarrassing. I stood up and dropped my pants. Mike scooted over, so did some of the other guys, and Mike actually touched my hard dick. God, how thrilling that was. He wiped at the end of it and I jerked at the touch and then laughed out of embarrassment. Mike rubbed his fingers and thumb together, then sniffed them.

"He fucking did!"

"Told you!"

Mike sort of lit up.

"Everyone take your pants down."

"What?" most of them asked all shocked.

"I want to see who's next!" Mike said.

"Fag," Lance said at him again.

"Shut up. Don't you want to know who's next?"

"You just want to see all our junk," Lance argued.

"I want to see what it looks like when somebody else shoots off, that's all."

"Fag," Lance said again.

"Call me that again and see if you survive," Mike threatened.

Lance laughed. Sometimes he would go for it, and they'd wrestle to the death, but this time Lance laughed and said, "Fine. Last one to have an accident gets to keep the magazine they have when they win."

"Hey, they're mine!" Paul said.

"Then be the last," Mike told him.

"Fuck you. No."

"So you know you'll lose," Mike said with a laugh. "Or you already do it?"

"Hey, wait, no fair! I just did! What if you can't do it twice?" Ben complained.

"Idiot! Anybody can!" Mike said.

"You sure?" Ben asked.

"Yeah, anybody can twice. Even three times. More, too," Mike answered. "I've done it three times in one day, four if you count waking up early the next morning."

"Liar," Lance challenged.

Mike gave him a glare that pretty much meant he wasn't kidding.

Chris was taking his pants down. I swallowed really hard. Ben took his all the way off over his shoes. Mike stood up and took his down. Lance and Paul did too. This was now the most amazing thing that had ever happened!

"If it's about to happen, say so and don't hide it. We all do it, just want to see who's next and what it looks like," Mike said.

I let go of my dick and sat down, pulled my pants down lower so I could be comfortable, then pretended to look at the pictures.

I kept my head down, but looked around as much as I could. They were all sitting there with their dicks out, hard, dark red, and most of them shiny on the end.

It was hard to breathe and to swallow. My dick kept jumping. So did everyone else's.

Lance's was awesome. It was so long. Straight and pale, with foreskin on it that hung over the tip, just barely, but it hid the head. But you could still tell that the head was way wider than the shaft of it. Like a long, tall mushroom with a dunce cap on it. And he had the biggest balls, too, by far. They hung down a lot, and you could tell there were two instead of like the rest of us except Mike and Paul. We all looked like we had one big ball or something, just a rounded, bit wrinkly sack. But not the three of them. And I was sure there was a shadow of hair right around the base of his dick. We all had stray hairs, and had shown them off at least once, but Lance looked like he was starting to get actual hair!

Paul had the strangest one. It was bent upward a lot, like a banana. The head was shaped like a bullet. Really smooth and rounded. And the hole in the end was so small! Even the smaller dicks didn't have such a tiny pinprick of a hole. The hole was almost under it, on the bottom, too, not on the very end. He had a little bundle of skin behind his head, but it never covered his head that I ever saw, not like Lance and Chris. He had a little chip of skin under the head that held the skin up there tight below his dick, like a flap that didn't get cut right when he was circumcised. His sack was kind of small and tight, and you could barely tell that he had two nuts, not like Chris, Ben, and me who's sacks were tighter and hid them.

Mike's was red, really red, dark red. On the head part. The shaft was pale, like all ours. The skin behind the head had the longest part that was darker than the rest of it though. He had the most wild hairs, too. Maybe because he had black hair and they showed up the best. His hole was a long slit, all red and shiny, and with a big drop of stuff there. His balls hung down the most, too, though they weren't as big as Lance's. His sack had long creases, like wrinkles. And you could see each nut, like they were separated or something. They just hung there like they were begging to be touched and played with. He grinned at me, which made my face get hot. He smiled still. It was really embarrassing. Everyone else was looking at the magazines, but he and I were looking at the guys and each other.

Chris had the smallest one, and the darkest one. He had some Spanish in him, so his skin was darker anyway, but his prick was really darker. It looked like it was going to be really thick if not long. It sort of looked stubby by comparison to everyone, but he was sort of the smallest of all of us, and the youngest. His little tiny sack was all up tight and really dark-skinned. He had that long foreskin, too, that made a pointed tip over the end.

Ben had like the most perfect and straight and smooth one ever. The end of it was sometimes covered by his foreskin, but right now, all hard, that foreskin was back behind his head in a little bundle. His head was dark red, too, and really smooth and rounded. His head even had smooth and rounded edges on it so that they were just not really edges at all, just the end of where his head was. And his shaft had to be perfectly smooth and perfectly straight. The hole was a perfect round one, and right at the tip.

Mine was bigger than Chris' or Ben's, but shorter and thinner than Mike's, Lance's, or Paul's. Mine was pretty straight, and pretty smooth, but my head was so long compared to all theirs, when you took in how long the rest of it was. My head looked like it was almost a quarter of all the length. Not really, but it seemed like it. It was rounded on the end, then swept way back, especially on top, and the edges were almost as smooth as Ben's, but had a little bit of an actual edge. My hole was more a slit than most of theirs, and was right on the very tip. My sack was the palest, almost pinkish-white, but not the smallest or tightest.

"Chris, Lance, you guys gotta pull that skin back, okay? Keep it back so it don't hide it when it happens," Mike told them.

They both pulled back their foreskins and had to hold it back. Lance could let go, and it slowly rolled back over the head over the next few minutes, but as soon as Chris let go, it rolled right back over it, so he had to constantly hold it back.

This was astounding. I knew I was going to do it again, and really soon. My dick was bouncing more than anyone else's, except maybe Mike's. And that drop of liquid at the hole of Mike's dick was starting to become a stringy strand that began to hang. That was fascinating. I couldn't look away. His dick throbbed up and down in a slow, gentle motion, and that string got longer and longer. It touched his sack and a drop ran down it.

It was so exciting, and so new, and was enough to set me off again.

"Ah, shit!" I said in surprise, and looked down to see my dick bouncing upward really powerfully.

It felt incredible again. That weird pressure was welling up from behind my sack in huge, wonderful waves, and a large drop formed at my slit. I tingled all over again, especially down there, and behind my sack. It was wonderful! And watching my penis dance and suddenly emit a little spray of sparkling drops seemed to make it all even more amazing!

"Oh! God!"

I hissed my breath inward and my body went rigid as thrills ran all through it.

"He's off again!" Mike declared.

A second spray of little droplets came out, and I could have died a happy kid! It was so awesome! It just felt so great!

"Jeeze!" I grunted as another wave of that incredible pleasure washed upward from behind my balls, though them, through my dick, and another few drops dribbled out.

"So cool!" Ben said.

"No shit!" Chris agreed.

I was the center of attention, and I didn't have the time to care or be embarrassed. My eyes slammed shut and I grunted as my dick pulsed and my blood pounded in my ears. I shivered all over.

How can something feel so fucking great? I asked myself. It's just so fucking good!

I panted, "Ah!" a few times as the raging thrills abated, and my body became mine to control again.

It was far stronger and better this time, as if my body let itself enjoy it even more than the first one. I stared at my dancing prick as a string of clear, sticky fluid hung out of the hole and draped over my sack. My dick still bounced, and that string was stretched then relaxed, then stretched tight again.

"That's what it's like," Ben said in awe.

Mike scooted over and swiped his fingers across my head, making me curl up over it protectively.

"Geeze!" I complained as I cupped my hands over it.

Mike rubbed his fingers together and grinned at me.

"Why's it so clear?" he asked me.

"How the hell should I know?"

"Because he's not making sperm yet. It's just the stuff that carries the sperm right now," Lance said. "Learned in health class. That's called seminal fluid. It comes from the glands inside, above your balls, but not from inside your balls like sperm."

"So there's not sperm in it?" Ben asked.

"That's what I just said, idiot," Lance said.

Mike put his fingers in his mouth.

"Oh, that's gross!" Chris said with a laugh.

"Why? No sperms," Mike said.

"Still! It came from inside of him!"

"It's just water, salt, sugar, and protein," Mike argued.

"Still gross!" Chris replied.

Mike shrugged and sat down. I saw that his dick was even darker, and when he sat, another glob of fluid oozed out of his hole.

"Geeze! That was so neat!" Ben said.

"Mph!"

Paul dropped the magazine and we all sort of flew over closer to him.

"Shit!"

I could have sworn I saw his balls kind of surge upward in his sack. Then his dick jumped and shot out a big drop of cloudy fluid, not clear like what I had just done, or what Mike was leaking. It came out under his dick, behind the head of it, out of that hole in the tube beneath. It landed on the carpet and immediately disappeared into it. Then his dick jumped again and another blob shot out. They were little drops of pearly-white and clear fluid.

"Shittin' hell!" Paul grunted.

More flowed out of his hole and rolled under his dick out of view, then began to drip down in a long string. His dick jumped again and that string broke and fell onto his sack as another bit oozed out and rolled down his shaft toward his sack.

"Fucking awesome!" Paul said in a loud whisper.

"Oh God!" Chris said suddenly.

He was on his hands and knees, like most of us, crowded around Paul. He didn't move much, but his back arched and dropped, and I saw his dick jumping like crazy under him. We sort of leaned down to see his little dick bouncing around.

"Oh, God!" he kept saying while he tried not to laugh.

A drop formed over his hole, but it didn't shoot any at all. It sort of rolled under his dick some, and some more joined it, but it was all together just barely a whole drop.

He grunted a few more times, then rocked back onto his butt and grabbed his dick. He squeezed it upward and a little bit more came out the hole. He got it on his fingers and pulled them away, and a short string stretched out for a second before it broke.

"It's all sticky! And slimy! How can it be both?" he asked, rolling his fingers together.

Ben groaned. We looked. He was pushing his hips upward and then relaxing them in a slow rhythm.

"This feels great!" he said, smiling really widely. "Damn it! Wow!"

He started grunting hard between breaths.

"You going to?" Mike asked after a few seconds.

"I don't know! I think so! Just... it's taking forever or something!"

He kept humping the air and kept groaning. A drop formed at the hole and ran down the underside of his dick.

"That it?" Mike asked.

"No way! Just... not even!"

He kept humping the air. His little dick was almost purple! The end of it anyway. The rest of it looked darker red than before.

"Jeeze!" he said really loudly.

"Going to now?" Mike asked.

"No, don't think so. It's feeling... it feels so great! But not like when it did it before. This is sorta, different. God! It feels great!"

We watched him fuck the air for quite a few minutes. He made lots of drops of that clear stuff, and it ran down his peter, but he didn't seem to have a finish. I wondered if something was wrong with him.

Lance and Mike were the only other ones still hard. Chris, Paul, and me had gotten soft.

"When are you guys gonna?" Paul asked them.

"I think we have to jerk it," Lance said. "Once you start jerking it, it usually won't got off by accident I think after that."

"You guys make it do it?" I asked.

They nodded and blushed and looked at each other.

"So how will one of you win?"

"We'll have to see if we do before Ben gets done with whatever he's doing."

Ben laughed, then said, "I think I'm gonna soon!"

His face was so darkly blushed. He was even sweating. I could see his arms and legs trembling as he pushed his hips up in that slow rhythm.

"It's sorta building up real slow! Gotta soon!" he said, his voice shaky.

"Shit," Lance said.

Just as we looked over, his dick bounced and he shot out a blob of stuff that went almost a foot away. That was amazing! Then he shot another one. They were almost white, and they really flew out of him. They weren't anything like the streams of cum the guys in the magazines did, but were larger than anything any of us had just done.

"Shit," he said again, his dick bouncing up and shooting another little blob out that landed on his belly as he leaned back as if he couldn't hold himself up any more. "Shit, wow!"

Another little glob landed on his skin, then another, and then his dick started going soft like someone had let the air out of a balloon. He fell onto his back breathing hard. He shivered all over and then exhaled really loudly.

"Damn! That was like the best thing ever!"

"Ughhhh!"

Ben's dick looked like it was going without any blood, it was all purple and blue on the head! The shaft was so red! His balls were gone. I mean gone. His sack looked empty. He kept pushing his hips upward and holding them there for a second or so, then relaxing. Then again. Again. Like some kind of weird exercise.

"It's gonna!" he grunted, his face scrunching up tight.

Then it did. Like a little river came out of his hole and ran down and under his dick as it seemed to swell up so much it couldn't even bounce anymore. It just sort of shivered and shook, like his whole body did, as that clear fluid came out in a steady, narrow stream.

"Damn it!" he yelled.

I mean he really yelled! The fluid was coming out in a steady stream and running down under his head and down his shaft.

"Oh, God! Make it stop!" he said softer, really pleading.

His whole body shuddered, head to toe, and his dick seemed to get even darker and tried to swell up more than the skin would let it. The narrow little stream of fluid made it to his sack, then a spray of little droplets, tiny ones, just a few, came flying out. They didn't go far, and there weren't many, but they sure shot out of there!

Then he yelled, "FUCK!" and fell onto his back laughing.

"Ho-ly, shit!" Paul said in awe.

The rest of us said, "Wow."

Lance asked him if he was okay.

"Ohhh," he moaned. "I think I broke it."

It was hilarious! Mostly because he sounded so serious.

"Not funny," he groaned. "What if I really did?"

He sat up, looking really scared.

"Don't worry about it. You just shot off is all. It'll be fine," Mike said.

"What makes you such an expert?" he asked him as he gently touched his dick and ran his finger through the stream of fluid.

"I like to read. I've read every book in the library on sex stuff, and some from the country library that are for adults only. It's just an orgasm. You forced it by contracting muscles in your abdomen. Some guys can do it, some can learn it, some can't. It's a tantric orgasm. You're really, really lucky. Every book said it was way better than a normal one."

"God, damn it! It was way better than the first one, for sure!" Ben said happily.

"Guess you win," Lance said to Mike.

"Cool. I'll pick the one I want some other time, after I've seen them all."

"Ass," Paul said, not really mad.

"You gonna?" Lance asked.

"Maybe. Why should I, though? I already won."

"Because now I wanna see the pro do it," Lance said with an evil grin. "Or can't you actually cum?"

"Well, since I won," Mike said, then grabbed his dick and started jerking it.

That was when I learned how to do it right. I watched, fascinated. I started getting hard again. Then Mike inhaled really loudly and grunted softly and out shot an almost real streamer of real cum. It was whiter than anyone else's, and longer, and more, too. It landed on the skin halfway to his belly-button. There were swirly lines of white in it, and it was about as big as a dime.

He grunted, "Fuck," and another joined it, just as big, just as mixed with white. The sound of his fingers as he jerked off made me even harder. Another shot out, but barely, and landed on his dark red head and got squished up there as he kept jerking off. Some more oozed out, and it got louder. It was so cool!

"There. That's what a real one looks like," he said proudly.

I wanted to go over and touch it so bad, see what it felt like, smelled like, even tasted like.

"God damn!" Lance said in admiration.

Mike laughed.

"That was cool!" I said before I could stop myself.

Mike smiled at me really nicely. I felt myself blush. I looked around, hoping that I wasn't being noticed. It didn't seem so, most of them were still looking at Mike. Except Ben. He was still on his back, his eyes closed, breathing a little fast. I was sort of worried. I reached over and touched his shoulder, though I would have rather touched his soft, shiny, wet, red dick. His balls had come back out.

He opened his eyes and looked at me, then said, "What?"

"You okay?"

"Fuck yeah! Just fuckin' wiped out!"

He laughed, and I did too.

Paul got up and came back with some paper towels. I wanted to wipe everybody clean, but I didn't want to show how much I liked what had just happened. I dried myself then pulled my pants and underwear back on. Ben still held his paper towels in his hands and he lay on his back. I almost laughed out loud.

"I think he's gonna sleep a couple hours," Mike said with a laugh.

I took the paper towels from Ben's hands. I wiped his dick as carefully as I could, but he still jerked and gasped at every little touch. It was hugely thrilling to hold his penis and clean it. I was so very careful. The little stream of fluid had rolled the rest of the way down his sack, and I wiped it away as best as I could. Then he lifted his knees a little and spread them apart and I wiped the bottom of his balls and behind there. That sight was hugely thrilling, and wiping him there made my dick flex. I could just barely see his hole, and that made my dick jump painfully. If I hadn't put my pants back on, everyone would have seen how much I liked what I was doing.

"Thanks, Eddie," he said when I was done.

"No problem. You look like you can't even sit up on your own, dude."

"I can't. I really can't," he said with a laugh.

I wished I could lick him the rest of the way clean. Instead, I pulled his shorts up, and tucked his stuff in, then pulled his jeans up. Fastening them was really hot. I don't know why. Seeing his package in his jeans, all put away, after getting to see it all exposed and even cleaning his fluid off of all of it, it was so thrilling. I now knew what it looked like, even how it felt to handle it. And what he looked like back in that secret place behind his balls, where I hadn't seen on anyone before.

They were all flipping through the magazines, except Ben who was falling asleep, and Mike, who was grinning at me. I shrugged and grinned back.

Paul got up and turned on the television. We snacked, watched horror movies, and had a good time. Ben woke up about an hour later, all charged-up and hyper. It was funny.

After the show ended, there wasn't anything on, and cable hadn't come to our little town yet, it was still only in the major cities. We had one thing to do, and we did it. Mike offered to show us how to do it. The three of us that didn't know how, that is. Other than what I had seen him do, I didn't know. I had played with it, tickled it, done stuff to it, but I didn't know how to actually stroke it. In a few minutes, Lance was helping Ben, Paul helping Chris, and Mike doing it to me. We did it to them while they showed what they knew to us, and each other. We all learned something new about how to do it.

I did it to Mark until he came again, and I got it all over my fingers! It was awesome! It was so cool, that I suddenly did it too. I didn't make as much as Mark, but I made more than the other times. It almost shot out, too. Drops of it fell to the floor as he stroked me off. It felt incredible! I was gasping and groaning and I just wanted it to go on forever!

But Mark pulled his wet, sticky dick away and stopped playing with mine. We wiped up with paper towel and went back to the magazines.

We all fell asleep soon after. The next day, we didn't talk about it, as if none of it had happened. We looked at the magazines for a little bit, but nothing went on like the night before.

We never did that again. I went over to Paul's house with the other guys sometimes, and we looked at the magazines sometimes, but nothing happened like that again.

Until Mark asked me over one day. He'd borrowed one of the magazines from Paul, and we looked through it together, and before we got part way through the pictures we were jerking each other off. Before we finished, though, he asked if I wanted to see what a blow-job feels like. I sure did! And I sure found out! And I gave him one back! By the time I left the next day, we'd given each other so many blow-jobs and hand-jobs and messed around with each other's dicks so much we were both sore!

We started doing that almost every weekend, and sometimes during the week. We kept doing it until he got a boyfriend in senior year. He'd already told me he was gay, and I told him I was too. He found out that Kyle was too, and they got together. A few times, they asked me over and we did the funnest things together!

They graduated and I was left alone the next year. I was too shy to try to find another guy, so I was alone until I went to college where I met Scott. We fell in love, not just in lust, and we've been together ever since.