TRUE FIRST TIME TALES
The first time I had sex was with an adult man. Some people say I was molested. I don't think so. What do you think?
It was the day before my twelfth birthday. I was going to have a party on Friday, the day after my birthday, and my mom had asked the neighbor guy to take pictures of the party. So after school on Wednesday, when I got home, mom and the neighbor guy, Ted, were in the kitchen talking.
"Hi, hon. Ted is here to take a few pictures of you today and see what settings to use on his new digital electronic camera before the party. It doesn't use film, can you believe that?"
"Hi, Skyler," Ted said, smiling at me and waving, holding his big camera in the other hand. "I'd like to just get a few pictures out on the patio where the party will be, so I know what to set this thing at to get the best results so I don't have to experiment with the real pictures during the party."
I put my pack down and started toward the patio doors.
"Can you change your clothes? Something more colorful? I want to make sure I have the saturation right."
So I went to my room and changed into my blue shorts with the white piping and a red t-shirt. I put on white tube socks that went almost to my knees and my play shoes which were blue and gray Kenny's. When I got back to the patio, he smiled, said, "Perfect," and snapped a picture.
Mom said, "No, not with his hair all messed. Let me take care of that first."
"They're just so I can get the camera dialed in. No one will see them," Ted told her.
"I don't care," she said, and began straightening my hair despite my heavy sigh.
Once she had it straightened to her liking, she said to go ahead. He took a couple of pictures, then had me run around the back yard, sit at the picnic table, and stand in front of the house in the sun and in the shade. After a few minutes he said he was sure he got the settings right and thanked me and Mom and left.
We had dinner, then, since it was Wednesday, and the day before my actual birthday, Mom was going to go shopping, as usual. I knew she was probably going to get my presents. I'd searched the house from top to bottom and not found them, so I knew she hadn't gotten them yet.
"I'm going to do the shopping. Be back by seven or eight, as usual. No snooping around for your presents. You won't find them anyway."
"And no friends over. I'll have Ted watching, and he'll tell me if you do."
Ted didn't seem so bad until then. I'd sometimes called someone and had them come over while Mom was shopping, but now that wasn't possible. Damn.
She left, and not five minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was Ted.
"Hi, Sky. Wondered if I could get this camera set up too. It's brand new and I've never used it before."
I shrugged and we went out to the patio. He had me do the same things and took pictures. He had me climb the tree and sit on the low branch different ways and lay across it different ways and such.
"Can you hang from it by your legs?"
"Swing back and forth... Now pull yourself up... sit facing the other way with your back toward me... scoot forward... scoot back..."
On and on. It got pretty boring.
"Okay. This one's not so good outside. How about we try inside."
We went in and I sat at the kitchen table and in the living room.
"Where do you do your homework?"
"Let's try a few with you doing your homework."
So I sat in my room at my desk and pretended to do homework as he walked around and took pictures. He set the camera down and used his phone to call someone about taking pictures of them on Saturday. When he hung up, he said, "Got enough pictures. Thanks, Sky. Sorry you got your clothes so dirty. Better change before I get you in trouble. Thanks again."
Being in the tree had got my shorts and shirt dirty, for sure. So I changed out of them and into old jeans and a t-shirt. Then when I was sitting at the desk I saw he had left his camera. I picked it up and checked it out. It was a really big, nice digital one. They were really new and expensive then, and I knew it probably cost as much as Mom spent on the used car she got a few months ago. It so heavy, and had so many buttons and little numbers next to dials. It was complicated and hard to figure out. The screen on it only showed what was in front of it, but I knew there was a way to see the pictures it had taken, since he'd shown us the ones he'd took with the other one, but I never got it to. It only paused for a second every few seconds, then started showing what was in front if it again for a few more seconds. I put it down in the living room in case he came over to get it. He had to sooner or later. And he did after half an hour.
The doorbell rang and it was him.
"Sorry to bug ya, but I forgot my camera. Duh."
"I know," I said, and laughed with him.
I got it off the table and handed it to him.
"It's really expensive, huh?" I asked.
"Looks hard to work."
"Very," he said, and laughed. "But I can show you how, if you want."
He kind of went through the buttons and dials, explaining them as I held it. He told me to take a picture of the tree in back and knelt behind me and held it with me by putting his arms around me and we took a few pictures. It acted just like it had in my room. When I pushed the button, the screen froze for a few seconds, then showed what was in front of it again. Only I hadn't been pushing the button in my room, I was sure. But now I wasn't so sure. I was worried he would see that I had taken pictures somehow and knew I had messed with it.
"Can you see what pictures it's taken so far?"
He messed with it and then showed me the first few pictures we'd done on the patio and in the tree. He started to pull the camera away.
"Can I see them all?"
I figured I had to know if I left evidence that I'd messed with it. He would see sooner or later, but if he did right now, I could explain without my mom being involved.
"Well, okay. Just remember, they aren't meant to be professional, we were just messing around."
He pushed the buttons next to the screen and the pictures changed, one after another. He wasn't a real good photographer after all. He mostly got my legs and butt, and my lap and belly when I was hanging upside down. But he did get a lot of my face, so he wasn't too bad. But like he said, we were just messing around and they weren't professional ones.
A lot of the ones when I was in the tree were embarrassing. The camera looked right up the legs of my shorts and you could see my underwear, and sometimes, well, my underwear was pretty loose.
"Don't worry, I'll erase 'em."
He got to the last picture he had taken, and it seemed like I hadn't taken any after all. He messed with the camera and said, "Okay, all gone."
"No problem. Nothing to be embarrassed about anyway. Hell, if I was that big when I was your age, I'd have shown it off."
"No you wouldn't."
"Sure would have. The girls would have been all over me. Like they are on you."
"Not yet, maybe. But they will be. You're going to be a real lady-killer, Sky."
I was as good as twelve, so I knew what I looked like. I knew I was better looking than some of my friends, maybe most. And some girls had been pretty nice to me lately. But it was really embarrassing the way he was talking to me about girls. Especially about, well, what the camera saw in the tree pictures.
"If the girls saw those pictures, they'd be all over you, you know."
"If girls saw those pictures, they would probably laugh at me."
"Oh, hell no! They'd giggle at school, I'm sure. But that would be because they were embarrassed and turned on."
"Yeah. If they saw those, you'd be so popular."
"But how would they ever see the pictures?"
"Come over to my place, I'll show you something."
We went to his house through the alley and he had tons of photographic stuff. Even one room that was a studio with scenes on screens that rolled down from the ceiling, and things to put in front so it looked like they were really where the screen showed. Lights and props and chairs and all kinds of cameras. He picked up a little box that was just a small screen with a couple of buttons and it had tons of pictures in it.
"You can take this to school and show off some pictures you take. And we'll slip a couple of pictures in that sort of, ummm... show you off. Like the ones in the tree I took. Like accidental like."
"Everyone would see, though."
"No, you just let them go through the pictures while you go talk to a friend or something. Let the girls find them on their own. Then go back for the screen and act like you don't know anything."
"You think that'd work?"
"Ummm, it has before."
"It's worked for other guys."
"You've done this before?"
"Sure. A few times. The girls get all curious and want to see for themselves, and almost fight to go out with you."
"So, wanna give it a shot?"
I wasn't sure. I mean, showing my stuff in pictures was so embarrassing. But if I pretended I didn't know... and if it got the girls interested...
I wasn't sure that I wanted the girls all that interested. I knew I was supposed to. Or soon, anyway.
"You can always tell the girls you're going with someone already, if you don't like the ones that ask you out."
He kept telling me ways to explain how I hadn't looked close at all the pictures, and how to explain I'd used a timer, and other things. I figured I'd give it a shot.
"Okay. So, let's go back to your place so it looks like you did them yourself."
When we got back to my house, we went to my room. He had me put on the short blue shorts again, and no shirt. while he looked the other way. He had me sit this way and that way, and move my legs in certain ways, and sit in certain ways, and it was really embarrassing.
"Tell you what, take off your undershorts and we'll see how that looks. Probably see it better."
"Geeze. I don't know."
"If you don't like the pictures, we'll erase them."
"Don't worry. If anything too much shows, no one will ever see them. Only the ones you think show enough to get the girls interested and curious and dying to see more. And once we take the pictures, you can always change your mind and we can just erase them."
"Well, okay. But no pictures while I'm naked."
"Sure. Let me change a couple of things before I forget."
He put the camera down after messing with some buttons, then turned to face the window. I slipped my shorts off, then my underwear, then put the blue shorts back on.
He turned around, picked up the camera, messed with some buttons, then we took more embarrassing pictures. I swear, sometimes it was just hanging out! It seemed to, anyway. But he said it wasn't, and he would let me see when we were done. I moved around, posed in different ways, all with him down in front of me, low, the camera looking up the legs of my shorts.
"You know, Sky, you don't need to or anything, but there's ways to make it look even bigger."
Nothing wrong with it looking even bigger, is there?
"Sure. Embarrassing, but the girls will probably go crazy."
"Sure. You're pretty big already, but if you make it a little hard, it'll be even bigger."
"Well, depends. But it's embarrassing."
"I'll have to touch it."
That was sure embarrassing! Some guy touching it? But if it looked bigger in the pictures...
"I'll sort of tickle it to make it bigger. You okay with that?"
"How much bigger?"
"Depends. Some guys get a little bigger, some guys get a lot bigger."
"How do you know?"
"I'm a photographer. I've done it before."
"Yup. No big deal. It don't mean anything. And it'll get bigger and the girls will be really curious and really want to make out with you."
Make out with me? Ewww.
"So when you're ready for the girls' attention, you'll have no trouble getting it. If you're not ready yet. You'll be really popular with the girls before your friends."
He fiddled with the camera again, then set it down. Then he walked up in front of me and knelt between my legs. He slid his hand up the leg of my shorts and actually touched my dick. So weird! I felt him playing with it. Sort of sliding his fingers up and down it. It felt weird. Like I was doing something wrong. Mom had said I shouldn't let strangers touch my private areas. Ted wasn't a stranger, but he was touching where Mom had said no one should. But it was for pictures, so I would be popular with the girls, and they'd know I had a big dick. And it would look even bigger if it was hard instead of soft. I wanted to stop him, but I wondered how big it would get when it got hard. And what he was doing was making it hard, for sure. I could feel it stretching and sort of tingling.
"There ya go. And like I thought, really big one."
I had to laugh. And I had to see. So I pulled the leg of my shorts up all the way until I could see my boner. It was sure bigger! Wow! And it felt... really... just... I mean... it tingled. A lot. And tickled a bit. And my stomach felt wiggly and tingly, too. It was kind of hard to sit still.
"So sit this way," and he arranged me on my bed and took some pictures.
Then he moved me around, adjusted the shorts legs, tickled it to keep it hard, and took more. He arranged me differently, tickled it to keep it hard, and took more. He would move my shorts legs and my boner a bit between each picture in each position. He had me lay on my stomach with my shorts up between my butt cheeks, too, saying the girls would like seeing my nice butt. He moved the shorts legs around some so that my boner was sort of visible, too. He took some with nothing showing too, just the tent my boner made.
The way my boner felt was great. I'd never had one before. I never knew it tingled and felt so neat. Having a boner was awesome!
He had me put on different shorts. He always put down the camera and turned away while I changed. I touched it and looked at it. It felt so good to play with it. Tingly and tickly and really good. It was awesome!
After wearing the short jeans shorts that were way too big, the red swimming trunks, and my old, really tight black shorts, I was out of shorts that would show anything. All the others had longer legs.
"Well, let's go over to my place and see what ones you want to let the girls accidentally see."
He put down the camera and turned away while I took off the tight, black shorts and put on underwear, jeans, and a shirt. Then we went to his house and he took a long time getting the pictures ready, so I walked around the room checking things out. Finally he called me over and we went through the pictures. He had plugged the camera into a sort of little television and we checked them out at his desk.
So embarrassing! He put his arm around my hips and pulled me to sit on his leg as we looked at them. In some of them, before he got me hard, it was barely visible. Mostly just a shadowy hint. Sometimes the light hit it and it was easier to see what it was. Really embarrassing! A few you could see the side of my nut sack. Geeze.
But in the ones I was hard in, it was obvious. It pushed up the leg of the blue shorts a lot, sort of poking into the air, and made my balls show up. In the jeans shorts it pushed up against them but didn't move them much, and my sack was almost visible in a lot of them. In the red swimming trunks it poked out all the way, and my ball sack was even completely visible. In the old, tight, black swimming trunks it was outlined completely and you could see the shape of my balls too.
"Like I thought, a really big one you got there," he said, then patted my lap.
It was still hard, and still really tingly and ticklish. I sort of giggled and wiggled.
"Still hard?" he asked, then felt for it.
"Yeah. How long will it?"
"Depends. Some guys it stays that way until they, well, jerk it off."
His hand was rubbing and squeezing it, making it go crazy. And making me feel all squirmy inside. I really liked how it felt, but I felt guilty too.
I sat there not moving as he played with it through my jeans. It felt amazing. Really great. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I just stared at the picture on the screen of me laying back on my bed in the little black swimming trunks that were so hard to even get on, my boner so obvious, even my balls showing off.
He sort of hugged me. I sort of liked that. A lot. My dad had left when I was a little kid, and I never remembered any hugs or anything from him. So it was really nice to be hugged by a guy. Mom gave me a lot of them, but it was getting embarrassing being hugged by my mom. The hug he gave me then was embarrassing, too, but, well... it felt so nice.
"Well, should I show you how to get it to go soft again?"
I nodded. I didn't know how, and I wanted to know. I sure didn't want my mom seeing that.
"It's like how I got it to get hard. But do it for longer, and pretty soon it feels really good, then after a while, it goes soft."
He unfastened my jeans. I was sort of shocked. He unzipped the fly. It was kind of hard to breathe. And really, really embarrassing. But I sure didn't want to go home and let my mom see that boner.
He reached into my jeans and touched it outside of my underwear. He sort of ran his fingers along it, then rubbed on my balls, then scratched it on the end of it. Man, that felt great. It tickled so much I couldn't keep from sort of giggling. He played with it for a little while. I don't know how else to describe it. He just rubbed it and my balls, and squeezed them, and just touched everything.
I knew it was faggy. No doubts. But man, did it feel good. It felt good all the way down my thighs and up to my shoulders. Sort of a tingly, tight, funny feeling.
He leaned back a bit, taking me back with him, one of his arms around my belly under my shirt, his other hand pushing my jeans down. I let him. Then his hand went inside my underwear.
I stared at that picture of me in the tight, black swimming trunks and sort of phased out. Daydreamed. Drifted away. Except I could feel every little touch of his fingers on my dick and balls, and his arm around my belly, and his breath on my neck.
The way it felt was... just... like a dream, but better. Like the best dream anyone has ever had. It felt great, and weird, and bizarre, and wrong, and like I would get in trouble, and like I was on a rollercoaster, and like I was playing with friends, and like when you just feel happy. All at the same time.
When he pushed my underwear down, I stood up and took them and my jeans all the way off. I don't know why. Not a clue. But I did. I sat down on his leg again. His arm went around my belly, and I put my hands on his arm. His other hand went to my belly and sort of rubbed over it, lower and lower.
I felt shivers. Like I was cold, but I was really very warm. All over. And I felt myself breathing fast. And the tingles were all over, everywhere, inside and outside, and moving around my skin and muscles.
His hand got down low enough on my belly that it brushed against my boner. I thought for a second I was going pee everywhere. It got harder all of a sudden, too. I looked down at it for the first time. It was so red. And so big. His hand and fingers brushed on both sides of it, around it, but didn't touch it. It sort of jumped each time my heart beat. Each time, it felt like it was trying to grow too big for the skin on it. And how it tingled! Wow! Even my nuts were tingling like mad.
He tickled my legs on both sides of my balls, just brushing against the skin of the sack, and that was very nice. Sort of relaxing, I guess. And tickly. When he wrapped his hand around them, it made a sort of catch in my breath and my legs want to stretch out straight. God! I wanted to stretch out a mile long! He kept massaging them. Rolling them together in his hand. Wow!
Then he let go of them and grabbed my dick with his thumb and his finger. It felt like an electric spark! I jerked in his lap and giggled. Then he started doing what he had done to make it hard for the pictures. It felt amazing! Way better than that first time to get it hard. I watched his thumb and finger move the skin up and down it. It was really just amazing! Other than tickle-fights I'd had with mom or friends, nothing had ever felt so great before! And this felt so much better than that!
I made a weird grunting noise, like I'd been punched in the gut. My eyes went closed and I pressed the back of my head against his chest. I was breathing fast and hard. And having the best time of my life!
I remember suddenly realizing that I was holding onto his arms so tight that I was probably hurting him. But he didn't seem to mind. Then I realized that he was sort of kissing the side of my neck. That was so weird! But it was sort of really nice, too. And the way his arm was holding me across my belly was nice, too. But what his other hand was doing to me was... is there even a word?
There was no time at all. It was just the incredible feelings and me and him. And it went on forever it seemed. And it felt so great.
Then it went crazy. I felt a sort of urge to pee. Like I had to go really bad. It snuck up on me. I felt a little like I had to pee, then, suddenly, I had to pee like never before. There was no way to hold it! I opened my eyes and looked at his finger and thumb making me feel so awesome.
"I'm gonna pee, Ted. Let go!"
"Just go. Trust me. You're not going pee. It feels like it, but you're not. You'll see. Go."
His finger rubbed the bottom of my dickhead each time he stroked up now, and his thumb rubbed right over the top of it. It was way too much! I couldn't have stopped the pee if I had to now, it was way too late.
I watched and waited for the stream of pee to start, my body wiggling on his lap, unable to stop from laughing.
"Oh, God! Ted! It'll get on your camera and stuff! Stop!"
I was laughing too much to say anymore, and just watched as I was about to ruin his electronics. The tingling was almost unbearable! My legs were trembling and my chest felt like it was full of electric eels.
"Shit! Ted! Oh God!"
I squealed next. Like a little girl afraid of a snake or something. It was embarrassing as hell! But it was feeling so amazing! Like every nerve in my body was alive for the very first time. Especially the ones below my navel and above my knees. My entire groin was being electrocuted. I'd never really felt my balls before, not ever really noticed they existed, other than they were there. And sometimes they'd gotten hit or something and hurt. But now I could feel them inside the sack, and I could feel the skin that made up the sack that held them, and I could feel the place behind them, and they were all alive and tingling and surging and tight and... fucking hell!
Then my dick did a dance. It felt like something was moving up through it. It wiggled and tingled. And there was a kind of pressure beneath my balls and it moved up the entire length of my boner and my boner exploded.
I bent over double and held my breath. My dick surged over and over and tingled like nothing ever. Way more than before, way more than while he played with it. I held onto his arm and shook and tried to inhale but couldn't and tried not to make that girly squeal but made it anyway.
My dick was ripping apart! It felt so good, but it was being torn into pieces! I grabbed his hand to make him stop. It had to stop! Or I really would pee all over the place. I begged him to stop. I begged him to let go. I pulled his hand off of it.
Then, suddenly, I went limp and almost slid off his lap onto the floor. He held me on his lap with both arms and didn't let go. I could just barely move my arms or anything. I was panting hard. Those amazing tingles had my dick jerking and my balls moving inside their sack. I was almost sure they were trying to crawl up inside. Maybe to meet my asshole which was also feeling like it was trying to get up inside of me.
I held onto my dick and my balls and panted and opened my eyes. His arms were both around me and the side of his face was against the side of mine. I started to relax and could breath okay and shivered and felt... just... like I was on top of the world and no one could push me off.
"Move your hands for a second, Sky. Let's see if it's going soft yet."
I opened them just enough to see, but not enough to let him grab anything again. It was. It was red and purple and funny looking, but it was going soft. I closed my hands over it again and this weird kind of sigh ran through me. A shivery, soft, nice kind of sigh.
"And that's how you get rid of a boner," he said against my ear.
"Yeah," was all I could think of to say.
"You okay?" he asked really softly.
"Ummm, you won't tell anybody, will you?"
Tell? Oh, fuck! A guy gave me a boner and played with it! Am I gonna get in trouble for letting him do that to me? What if my mom finds out? Will she be mad at me? Am I fag? Is he a fag? Am I gonna be a homo now? Will Mom hate me?
I didn't want my mom to find out, or my friends. Anybody. No. I'd never tell.
I shook my head.
I was afraid. It had felt so amazing, but it had been so wrong. And I had let him do it to me. I was in so much trouble!
"This don't mean your gay or anything. Guys have done stuff like this since before there was even writing or books. If it's just between two friends, it's nobody's business. Their secret. If they do it once, or every day. No one has to know so long as both want to. Understand?"
"It's only bad if someone makes someone do it. Then it's wrong. But if both like it, and both want to, then no one is hurt and no one was wronged, and no one was wrong to do it. Okay?"
Maybe he's right. What business is it of anyone's. It's between him and me. Our secret. Like the secrets I have with my friends.
And I sure liked it. A lot. A hell of a lot.
"You want to again some time?"
I wasn't sure. I did want to, but it was so crazy. Risky. If my mom ever found out, I'd get in so much trouble, I was sure.
"If you ever do, just let me know. Make a joke about it. Or ask. Or just come over. Okay?"
I wondered if we ever would again. I sort of wanted to, but I sort of wanted to forget about it.
I stood up and pulled up my underwear and jeans and fastened them up. He pulled me to sit on his lap. I almost pulled away, but the hug had felt great while he was doing that to me, and I really sort of wanted to feel his arms around me again. So I sat down and let him put his arms around me again.
"If you want to talk about it, we can. Now or later. Any time. If you have questions or something. Or feel bad about it. We can talk and work it out. I just don't want you to feel bad about it. It wasn't bad. It was private, just between us, and we're not the first by a long shot. Understand?"
"It won't change you or anything. Not like it will make you gay or something. It was just a fun time. I hope so, anyway. Did you like it at all? It looked like you did."
"All boys jerk it sooner or later. Ya know?"
I nodded. I sure knew that. I just hadn't known exactly what it was that they did.
"Now you know what to do, and you can do it yourself if you want. And if you want, you can come over and I'll show you other things."
"Other ways to do it. And other stuff. Like what a blow-job is. And other stuff, so when you get a girl, you'll have experience and won't be virgin and can impress the hell out of her by knowing what to do to her to make her have a great time. And since you've done stuff before, you'll last longer, and impress her that way, too."
"You know stuff about girls?"
"Sure. I can teach you where to touch, how to touch it right, where to kiss and lick, even how to eat her out."
"Sure. All kinds of things. Especially how to make yourself last a really long time, and how to fuck her so well she'll go crazy. Girls can be hard to get off, to make them cum, but I'll show you how."
I really felt better knowing he knew how to do stuff to girls. I wanted to know that stuff. And how to do more stuff with myself.
"Yeah. I promise."
"Cool. That would kick ass, Ted. Thanks."
"Any time. You just give me a call or come over. Sometimes I'm taking pictures for people, so it would be better to call first. Okay?"
"Well, I've got an appointment to take pictures at six tomorrow, so if you want to sneak over after eight or so, that would be okay."
"But on Friday, I've got to take pictures of this cute guy on his birthday. Real stud."
"And I bet the girls are gonna be all over him soon."
I laughed again.
"Because he's gonna know what to do, how to do it, and there's rumors that there are pictures that prove he's got a huge one."
I laughed and he hugged me tighter and we sat there looking at me in those tight black swimming trunks until I went home before Mom would get back.
I went over the next day and he showed me another way to jerk it off using my fist and some spit. It was awesome. On Sunday night, he gave me head. Fucking amazing! I went over to his place every day.
On Monday I took that portable viewer to school and showed Kelly Amberson and Vicky Wallace some animal pictures he had taken at the pound. I said I had taken them. It was the pictures of me in those black trunks, and one where I was in the tree in the red trunks with my boner barely showing, that I had on that viewer along with the pictures of cats and dogs. While they were looking at the animals, cooing and aweing, I said I wanted to talk to a buddy and they could look at the rest and I walked away. I came back after I saw them laughing and giggling and blushing, just like Ted had said they would when they got to those two pictures of me. He was a genius.
It worked. I had girls all over me soon. Ted taught me everything about girls' parts, and we messed around a lot all the way through sixth grade. By the end of the school year, I'd gotten head from several girls. That summer I spent some nights over at his house. That was some fun times! By the end of that summer, the girls would give me head, and I gave them orgasms one after another. It was a lot of fun to mess around with Ted, too. I sucked him off while he sucked me off in a sixty-nine all the time.
I went over to his house one night after starting seventh grade without calling first. I saw a boy about ten or eleven sneaking into his back gate, like I did. I sneaked up to the window to watch. He had him on his lap, looking at pictures of the boy, and he put his hand on his lap, and soon in his pants. I got hugely jealous and almost went inside to yell at him and warn the boy away. But I went home and cooled off, and figured the boy was about to have the time of his life. I went back and watched, and jerked off as he did the same thing to the boy as he had done to me.
When the boy left, I knocked on his door. I told him what I had seen. He said he didn't mean for me to know about the other boys. I asked how many. He said there were others, but that it was his business how many. He asked if I hated him. I didn't. I was sort of mad, though. I thought we'd had something really special, and he explained that we had, and that he had that kind of thing with the other boys too. He asked if that hurt my feelings. It did, and I said it did.
We ended up talking in his studio for a while, and I ended up feeling okay about it after he explained the difference between having fun together and being in love with someone. I wasn't in love with him, I wasn't in love with anyone, but I sure loved messing around with him. He explained how the other boys did too. And how what I liked about it was what they liked about it, and how they were having the same kind of good time with him. I was glad other guys did that with him then. It wasn't so faggy. It was just messing around. It was fun, and private, and just between them and him.
We did it. He had done it to that boy, but hadn't gotten to with himself yet, so when I got him off, he about exploded. It was awesome. I was barely shooting anything yet, and he always made so much anyway, but that time he shot so much it was amazing!
I started being his release. He would have a visit from a boy, just do it to the boy while I secretly watched, and when the boy left, we would take care of each other one way or another. That was fantastic! Seven different boys through my seventh grade. Three more over the summer. Then nine while I was in eighth grade. Some of them came back for more. Three came back again and again and again that summer before high school, and they became like me. None of them knew about me watching while they did stuff though. And they didn't know about each other. Not until I started high school and they were in junior high. Then, well, things got really interesting. But that's another story.
By the time I was in high school, and after what had happened when the three boys found out about me and the others, I'd been with more girls than I had counted. And I was becoming more and more aware that I wanted Tracy Goerhring. Blond hair, all wavy and long, deep blue eyes, cute little upturned nose, and beautiful red lips. And a body and an ass that filled my dreams. And so nice, and smart, and gentle, and kind, and just the best person I knew.
Maybe it was all the sex with the girls, that I'd been there and done that so often by freshman year and fourteen, that made it so that I wanted Tracy. Bad. I was in love. I knew it.
I talked to Ted about it. He said he wondered if I liked doing it with him enough that I was gay. I ended up crying in his arms. It was hard to think about and to deal with. But I was in love with Tracy, and I just had to have him.
We did the same trick with Tracy as I had with the girls. I become good friends with Tracy, and when he was over at my house one day, I showed him some pictures of cars on that portable digital viewer that I had taken at a local car show. By then Ted had given me his old digital camera, the one he had secretly taken pictures of me changing in my room with that first day. Yeah, he had shown me those pictures by then. I didn't care by then anyway. So I left Tracy alone to look at the pictures of cars on that viewer and went to the kitchen to fix us something to chow on. Mom was working the late shift by then and I was alone at home until nearly eleven every weeknight.
I'd already shown Tracy how the camera worked, and how it could take one picture every so often automatically, and how easy it was to accidentally hit that button and never know it. A few days before, I'd turned the camera on automatic, then aimed it at my face and cleaned the lens while it took a picture every few seconds of my examining the lens as I cleaned it. Then I set it down and got ready for bed. It was aimed just right. I had tried several times, making sure it looked like the camera was accidentally aimed the right way without it looking like it had been done on purpose. Ted was a genius. Anyway, I stripped to my underwear, laid down, rolled toward the camera, and pretended to try to sleep for a few minutes, the camera taking a picture every few seconds. Then I rolled onto my back and jerked off. Then I rolled to face the camera again but without any underwear on and let him have a good view. Then I did fall asleep. Then, I'd loaded those pictures into the viewer, after the pictures of cars at the car show, as if I'd gone home after the show, cleaned the camera, and not known that I'd hit that auto button.
I took my time fixing sandwiches and getting chips and salsa and sodas, then walked back into my room. The viewer was on the desk and Tracy had his hands on his lap and was blushing and grinning. Just like Ted told me to look for as a great sign. We ate and talked, and I noticed that at first he kept one hand on his lap. Eventually he stopped covering it when it went soft.
Like Ted told me to do, I said I had to change, and did. Right in front of him, checking out what he did by watching him in the little mirror I set up on the dresser. Ted was a genius. Tracy watched me the entire time, ready to turn and look like he was looking away if I turned around. I didn't turn around, and let him watch as I secretly watched him. He covered his lap with his hands and blushed and grinned weirdly. Ted was a genius.
And like Ted said to do if things went the right way, I turned around really fast when I had only my favorite underwear on, the ones that showed me off really well, hard-on almost sticking out of them, and caught Tracy looking. He got so red! He stood up to probably leave, and I grabbed his arm, turned him around, and kissed him.
We stayed together all through high school.
Thanks Ted, you were a genius!
Ted died in 1998 when a drunk driver hit his car head-on just before I graduated high school with Tracy. It was like losing my father or something. Tracy was great during that time, and I told him about Ted and everything.
Ted had shown me where he kept the private pictures, and I sneaked over and took them home as soon as I'd heard what happened. He'd said if anything ever happened to him that I should get rid of them before his sister or anyone could find them. And since his only family was his sister, who wasn't into photography, I could have what I wanted. She let me have what I wanted, and I still use much of it to take photos even today. I take pictures for a living, including girls and boys, mostly for birthdays and such, but not the kind that Ted did. My sexual taste is for my peers. Mostly for Tracy.
There were plenty of other guys around my age, some older, some younger, who volunteered to be pall-bearers at his funeral with me. And the grins we gave each other told us all the truth. After the funeral, I told them I had gotten rid of the pictures without looking at them. They were all relieved to know those images weren't going to end up somewhere public, and because they knew their secrets with Ted were going to stay secrets.
I kept the folder titled, "Skyler." Did you know you can see how often an image was viewed on a computer? You can. The image he most viewed of me was a surprise. He'd opened it more times than all the other images of me combined.
I almost had a look at the pictures in the other folders before I deleted them, but I didn't. They were between those guys and him.
So, was I was molested? I don't think so. What do you think?