I came out to my friends early last summer. Right after school let out. Okay... I didn't so much 'come out' to my closest friends so much as 'came onto' them.
You hear about schools with LGBT clubs and such, but our school doesn't have one. Being gay around here still means being made fun of and pushed around. So I hid it really well. And so did everyone else. So no one knows who else, if anyone, is gay. So, while we were hanging out everyday with each other over the summer, I ended up sleeping over with one of them sooner or later. And I pretty much took those sexual jokes and grabbing a step further. To the point they directly asked me if I was gay or something. And I told them I was. The first time was really difficult, but it was my best friend, so I managed to force myself to admit it to him.
It was massively scary. And risky. You know. But I made myself do it. And I found out that none of my closest friends were so much as bi, let alone gay. And none of them were willing to do anything at all together. I almost lost one of them, and he still acts a bit stand-offish, but he tries to act like it never happened.
I told a girl, too. One of my closest friends, for years and years now. She laughed and hugged me and make stupid jokes, and it was the best of the coming-out experiences. She acts like I never said anything when anyone else is around, but when we are alone, she always wants to talk about it. Sometimes that gets old, and irritating, but most of the time it's great.
So, my five best friends knew. I wasn't ready to tell the folks. Or anyone else.
I was hoping and praying for someone to be with. I fantasized about all the cute guys, and some of the guys everyone thought was hot, and a few of the dorkier ones. I wasn't picky at all. And not having done it with anyone yet, I was beating off as often as possible, and about willing to do it with anyone.
School started, and like happens each year, you get a whole bunch of new folks to sit next to and maybe become friends with.
It was Jason Davidson in Latin that caught my eye. Okay, so I'm kind of a dork myself. I'll leave my physical particulars up to you. Jason was kind of a dork too. Almost an actually studly dude, but not quite. I'll leave those particulars up to you as well.
A few months after getting to be friends, and repeatedly assuring my five in-the-know friends that we weren't fucking like rabbits, he stayed over one Saturday night. Alone.
Now, I could tell he wasn't gay. He liked girls, or was spectacular at pretending so. He was as convincing as my other friends, and we hadn't really gotten into any sexually charged discussions or such yet.
But, of course, staying the night together, it came up. So to speak. Shit. I promised myself I wouldn't use any of those pathetic double-pun things. Moving on.
We played some video games, and talked, and had a dang good time. And I was hard the whole time, of course, hoping for that opening to take things toward more sexual realms. I intended to let him know I was gay before it got too late.
So, about ten, after a munchie raid, we were watching television in my room again, and I commented that the actor on the show was gay. His reaction was interesting.
“Yeah. He seems like a really great guy, too.”
The way he said it, told me that he didn't think poorly of him at all.
“Yeah. I bet he has tons of friends, even if they know already,” I replied.
“Probably. Some gay guys are the nicest dudes you'd ever want to know.”
I think I almost visibly jerked at his words, but it was probably all inside. It was a few seconds before I could swallow and talk.
“You know any?” I asked.
“Sure. Two cousins are, and a guy I went to school with until I moved here last year,” he answered, all cool and casual.
I jerked again, but all inside this time, I was sure.
“Ummm, nope. None I know of.”
Coward! I screamed at myself.
I'd try to describe the emotions boiling inside me at that moment, but you'd have to have been in the same kind of situation to really understand anyway.
About twenty quiet seconds later...
I swallowed, then tried again.
It hadn't been easy with my five best friends, but it was so much harder with someone I didn't know as well. I didn't know if he'd get up and leave, or hate me, or hit me, or what. I kept thinking that he admitted to two cousins being gay, and a guy he knew before he moved here, but that really wasn't enough to really overcome the in-built fear and dread of telling someone when you can't reasonably predict their reaction.
“You're gay. Right?” he asked, looking at me.
I realized I hadn't looked at him since mentioning the actor on the television. Now I saw he was looking at me calmly, curiously, and with no disgust or revulsion. It was suddenly easier. I held his eyes, and said it.
“Yeah. I'm... gay.”
He sort of shrugged as he nodded, smiled a little, then looked back at the show.
I'd already thought he was cute, but now he was gorgeous. Funny how that is.
“I never did anything with the guy I knew before I moved here,” he said casually. “Not that he didn't ask,” he laughed.
“He wanted to?”
He nodded, then said, “He would have with anyone, though. Can't blame him.”
“Blame him?” I asked.
He looked at me and replied, “Yeah. No one to mess around with? Has to suck.” He looked at me aside for a second, then asked, “You ever done it with anyone?”
I felt my face catch fire. I struggled to not laugh at the ludicrousness of the idea.
“No, huh?” he said.
“Yeah. I had a girlfriend back there. Nothing special, just goin' out, doin' each other. Liked each other, but we didn't want to get married or have kids. Just a lot of fun,” he finished with a laugh.
“Dang. Must miss it.”
“Fuck yeah. Jerkin' it off is boring after sex. Or head. Or even one of her wetties.”
“She'd spit on her palm, and my dick, and jerk it, all wet and shit. Fucking awesome. Do it myself, but not the same.”
“Yeah. Nothing beats beating it wet,” I agreed with a laugh.
He laughed too, and then looked back at me. His grin was embarrassed and already cute, and that blush made it fucking adorable.
“Would you ever think about doing that?” he asked, then visibly swallowed, and finally added, his voice having gone up a full octave, “Give me a handy?”
I could have exploded into action, but I wasn't sure how to do so. So I nodded, and eventually made myself say, “I'd really love to.”
“I really miss it.”
He laughed, and got even redder. It was amazingly attractive! Fucking hot! I laughed out loud. It was just such a huge relief to have all that awkward stuff over, and him know I was gay, and was not only be okay with it, was asking if I wanted to jerk him off.
Jerk him off? I wanted to suck him off! I wanted to at least ask if he would let me. I decided to see about getting my hands on it first.
I involuntarily looked down, and saw his erection in his khakis. He laughed, knowing where I was looking. I blushed more, laughed, and looked at his face. He was no lady-killer, but he was no total loser, either.
I'd try describing what it felt like in that moment, but what's the point? You've been there, and you understand, or you haven't yet, and you can only imagine. It's sort of like finding out you won the lottery while riding on a roller-coaster.
“You don't have to,” he said, for some stupid reason.
“You don't have to let me,” I replied, watching his reaction.
“I would have let Mike, but... we'd been friends for a long time... and it just seemed... weird.”
“You sound like you regret not... ummm...”
He laughed a little, then said, “I do,” apparently surprising himself. His brow wrinkled a little, then he said, “I should have let him.” Then, after a moment, and a nod, “I wish I had.” Then he smiled a little.
“You should tell him.”
“I will. We text and email. I'm gonna,” he said, smiling. “Thanks.”
“Thanks?” I asked, chicken-necking in confusion.
“Yeah. I feel better with that decided. I've been thinking about it. Would you want to know that, if you were him?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Yeah. I think I would.”
After a few seconds of silence, and thoughts of how to get my hands on his boner, which I could still see in his khakis, I thought of something, eventually voicing it.
“You're pretty... open, I guess you'd call it.”
He shrugged, then said, “One of my best buds told me he was gay. I sort of figured being gay isn't that bad, not if my one of my best buds was. I just wish I'd...”
“Yeah,” he said, laughing again.
His laugh was really great. A big bunch of chuckles all together, his nice lips framing his white teeth, and little dimples on his cheeks. And the way his eyes lit up, too. And he was funny. And smart. And caring. And nice to anyone, never a jerk. Yeah. I was really liking him a lot.
“I'll give you one, too. Okay?” he asked.
“Serious?” I asked, really loudly.
We both looked at my door and waited in dread. They should have been downstairs in front of the television anyway. I told him so. He sighed and relaxed, and grinned again.
“I mean, you really would?”
“Yeah. Why not?” He shrugged. “I don't think I wanna give you head, though,” he added with a laugh.
I pounced on the opening. Maybe too quickly.
He smiled as wide as I've ever seen him, and got even redder, too. And could hardly look at me, but he forced himself to as he asked, “Would you?”
I figured I might as well go for it.
“I think I'd really like to!” I said enthusiastically, trying not to smile too much and overdo it.
He snickered all cute, then said, “Man, you don't have to, but if you wanna... I fucking love getting head!”
“I wanna see if I'm any good at it! I mean, I watch porn, right? I think I know what would feel good, too.”
“Wanna really see?” he asked, mostly in a joking way.
But I responded by nodding and saying, “Hell yes I do!”
I felt like singing, or dancing, or something! Fucking yes!
“But,” he said suddenly, “you... ummm... you won't.... uh, say anything-”
As soon as I knew what he was asking, I cut him off with, “Hell no! I promise! I've had to tell my best friends, who know I'm gay, that we're not doing anything! They believe me. I'll make sure if it comes up, they keep believing it. Promise!”
“Okay,” he said, adding a nod and a smile. Then further adding, “I think I can tell I can trust you.”
“You can. Even before! I mean, I'm just not the type to go bragging about it. It's private, ya know?”
“Yeah. You get that. That's why it was easy to be friends with you. You're open and honest, and a good guy.”
“Same,” I said, rather lamely, but just too embarrassed to think of anything to say.
He smiled at me, and I felt one of those bonding moments. You don't really know what they are at that age, but later, you do.
“So, you won't be weirded out around the guys?” I asked. “After, I mean.”
“No. I mean, they won't know, if they do find out, they won't hate me, if they don't hate you. So, hell. Just... I'd rather they don't know.”
“Cool. Me too.”
We smiled at each other for a few seconds.
“I can't believe I'm going to let a guy...”
“I can't believe a guy is going to let me!”
“Hey, I'm just a horny boy! What can I say?” he laughed, then grabbed his groin.
“I've wondered what you're, uh... you know, built like.”
That was pretty hard to tell him!
He blushed a bit again, then said, “So find out.”
He moved his hand away from his crotch, and placed it with his other behind his head, grinning a remarkably sexually-charged grin at me that brought lust to roaring life. The way he stretched out his legs and body accentuated his groin, and the erection contained there.
I was stunned into motionlessness. I didn't move a muscle; just stared at his lap. I could feel my boner raging. It was bending and tingling like mad! I knew it would shoot if I gripped it and stroked it for just a few seconds. My whole body felt like that. It was amazing! I don't know if I even drew a single breath during those long seconds before he spoke, breaking the spell.
His sexy, adorable grin was broken by his words, but returned with a vengeance after them.
“Want me to take them off?”
“No! I'll do it!”
I sounded as desperate as I felt, and I didn't care. It never crossed my mind.
I reached out and touched his lap. His erection was so hard! And there was more there than I had by at least two inches. And it felt about the same thickness, even compensating for his khakis and underwear. I could tell that he was wearing briefs.
He was breathing a little fast. I looked up to see him smiling really widely, all embarrassed and turned on, and loving it. I loved that he was loving it!
I looked back down at his lap, and my hand massaging it, and actually felt myself fall into myself. That's the best way I can describe it. Or maybe, I noticed that all my senses suddenly went into overdrive. Either way, everything was more vivid and intense, and hot, and sexy, and then his hand went down my back, making me actually arch backwards and hiss my breath in through my teeth.
“Sorry,” he said, quickly removing his hand. “I just thought...”
“No, do it. I was just... surprised, I guess.”
His hand returned to my back, and I returned to feeling everything. And smelling it. I could smell him. His cologne, his deodorant, his sweat, and his heavier, deeper, muskier scent.
God! It was like my sense of smell was connected to my libido! I could have curled up as his hand moved up and down my back. My groin tensed and heated. My heart fluttered, and I inhaled a shaky, heavy breath.
His boner! It was in my hand! One of them. I moved my shoulders so that I could put my other hand in his lap too, cradling and fondling his tightly-held basket. He let out a very soft, almost inaudible moaning gasp.
I slid his shirt up some, admiring his tight stomach. No muscles, just a little softness, and a cute navel that was barely an innie. I really wanted to lick and kiss it all, but I hadn't even touched, let alone seen, his dick yet. I changed that in short order.
I unfastened and unzipped his khakis with both hands at the same time, then slid them to mid-thigh. His boner was big. It was pushing his red briefs way over to the side, one of his balls was hanging half-out of the leg opening on the other side. I lifted the waistband, then rolled the briefs down to meet his shorts. He kicked them lower until they were near his ankles, and his knees were slightly apart. His balls rolled down into that V, and his dick aimed straight up at his face, barely angling away until the red, swollen head hovered about four inches above his body.
That head was amazing! It was so long and conical. Like the tip of a huge rocket or missile. The edges of his head were almost swept back, never really any wider than the shaft. And so red! Almost really cherry. The whole thing was about six or six-and-a-quarter inches long, and looked pretty skinny. Long and thin. Not very straight, either. It curved upward and to his left just a bit. And the tube beneath it was really prominent. The veins weren't. It was lightly flesh-colored. We were in high school, and not very mature yet, so his size was pretty impressive. His bush was like mine, not really filled in yet, and mostly pretty much an isolated patch of hair in an otherwise hairless environment.
His balls were pretty big, hanging a little in a wrinkly sack that was a little darker than anywhere else on his body. Except that almost glowingly-red head.
I was panting. And I could smell it. I loved it! I grabbed it!
It was so hard, and soft, and warm, and wonderful!
He gasped really gently. I felt his body move a little, too. He was sensitive. So was I. His hand felt great on my back. My skin seemed electric where he touched.
I really couldn't believe I had one hand around his big, hot dick, and the other holding his big, warm balls. Then I leaned over and down, and had that hot head in my mouth. It was salty, and earthy, and awesome! I almost sucked. I remembered that I wanted to make this really good. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it right. I hoped I would get it good enough that he'd want it again. And again.
Holding his long cock with my hand, I slid my tongue over the top side of his head, then licked it softly. Then I slid up with my lips, until I was kissing the end, then I slid back down until my lips were at the end of his head and my tongue was cradling the top side of his head again. I wiggled my tongue and lips. He sighed, almost a moan. His body tensed, then he sighed again.
I played with his balls, rolling and feeling them move so silkily inside the skin. I squeezed and pulled, just enough he reacted.
His hand moved under my shirt, onto my skin for the first time. I almost purred. God, how I loved being touched! He massaged more than stroked, and it was really nice. When his strong hands kneaded the muscles along my exposed side, I stopped working his head with my mouth and let out a groan as my body curled up. My cock twitched, almost as if it were getting off. It really felt a lot like some kind of mini orgasm. It was wild! It lasted a few seconds, and he kept working my flank. Finally, I returned my mouth to his head. I wiggled my lips around the slight edges of his corona, massaged his head with my tongue, and squeezed and released my grip on his long shaft.
“Oh, man,” he sighed.
I took that as encouragement, and began sucking.
After a moment, when I wondered if I was sucking hard enough, he gasped, and his hand locked down on my shoulder. He gasped again, and his body tensed.
I thought he was going off, so I waited for the splash or gush or whatever as his cum came. I sucked, licked, and slowly stroked and fondled.
His other hand moved to the back of my head, and he pushed forward, very gently. I took the hint and took more.
“Oh-my-God!” he repeated, long pauses between filled with heavy, rapid breaths.
I was breathing hard too! I had hopes I might cum as he did! Without even touching it once.
His cock warped for a moment, then again, and my excitement built as I anticipated the warm tide coming. I sucked, licked, fondled, and stroked. His hips moved gently, and he pushed down gently with his hand. I took more. It was more than half in, and I began to wonder how much I was going to be able to take. I'd go until I gagged.
I sucked, cradled and massaged his shaft with my tongue, and stroked, and fondled. He sighed, “Oh-my-God!” from time to time, and shivered some. And his cock flexed again, and I tasted some slimy, salty stuff. I knew it wasn't cum, I'd tasted my own enough to know it was pre-cum. I tasted and smelled his, and felt it on my tongue, and loved it. And wanted more.
I sucked, licked, massaged, fondled, and stroked, loving every fucking second of it! Wondering how long before I soaked my shorts.
A change in his words, and a change in his body. It tensed more, and he pushed down more.
“Oh... shit! Getting close!”
His hips moved a lot now, and he was pretty much fucking my mouth. I don't have to tell you that I loved it, do I?
God, how I loved it! Every second of it. How his cock felt in my hand, in my lips, on my tongue. How it tasted and smelled. How his balls felt in my hands. How his hand, formerly gripping my shoulder, was now around my side, his fingers finding and playing with my nipple. That sensation exploded through my guts!
I was cumming! Not really, but the mechanics were kind of occurring. It sure felt fucking fantastic!
“Oh, God! Get ready to move unless you're going to... uh...”
I answered his unasked question by taking more of his cock, deeper, until I felt the stirrings of that unpleasant reflex. Then I sucked for all I was worth, and energetically stroked the two-or-so inches of his lower shaft that was still outside my lips with thumb and forefinger.
“Yes! Like that! Don't stop! Oh-my-God!”
His voice was high, and his body was entirely tense, and his hot, throbbing cock (it really was incredibly hot and throbbing a hell of a lot!) jerked like a startled snake, and then I finally felt and smelled and tasted his hot, thick (yes, it really was both hot and thick!) semen begin flooding my mouth. And I do mean flooding! He shot out so much in that first wave, I was left gagging to swallow around his head. I ended up backing off, almost choking, still sucking. But so much of his cum was filling up my mouth that I had to pull away to have time to swallow it all. I felt something splat against my face. I backed off further, and realized he was still blowing his wad, and I wasn't doing anything. I worked to swallow and catch my breath as I stroked his wet and slippery head. I kept watching as he shot big, heavy, white spurts way up into the air that landed with loud, wet plops on his lower tummy. His gooey cum lubricated his head and my hand as I kept rubbing it.
“Holy shit!” he squealed.
I watched as he shot like a porn star, over and over. I counted nine, and felt three more, and then he was snatching my hand away, begging, “Oh-God! Please! Stop!” laughing, and jerking all over.
I looked at the enviable mess he'd created. Far more than I'd ever done. And as much as most of the big-cummers on the internet sites.
I had to say it.
“That was fucking impressive,” I intoned solemnly.
“Yeah, it was!” he replied.
I thought that kind of conceit was out of character for him enough that it caused me to break my gaze of his cum-soaked abdomen. He was smiling hugely, and it was very cute and all, but it was strange to think of him as so conceited.
“Way better than I got from her.”
Then I saw I'd misunderstood him. I laughed, both at the relief of the denial of his conceit, as well as at his compliment of my first attempt at giving oral.
I'd sure as hell fucking loved it!
“Got anything to clean it up with?” he asked.
I thought about doing it with my tongue, but worried it might gross him out. So I got him some tissues, dragged over the wastebasket, and asked, “Can I?”
He shrugged, grinning. I cleaned him up, mostly admiring the view. It was impressive. And hot. And I was still horny as fucking hell. And totally hard and swollen and turgid, and all that.
Once the massive wad was cleaned from his skin, I used my mouth on his dick... to clean it.
He groaned a bit, and it began responding. I stopped for a moment to look up at him as I asked, “Want another one?”
He smiled, and looked at me, and then said, “What's the chance of your folks coming in?”
“None. Their room is by the stairs. They won't even come down here. The bathroom is next to their room, even. They never do, anyway. Always lock the door, anyway, and all they'd do, if anything, is knock and say goodnight or something, but not when someone's over. Why?”
“Get your pants off.”
He turned deeply red, and laughed a bit, but was obviously serious. I asked anyway.
“Yeah. Is it okay with you if I give you a handy?”
I was suddenly hugely embarrassed. I wasn't nearly the size of him, and it was embarrassing anyway. He was watching me as I stood up and started taking down my jeans. It was nearly humiliating. He laughed, then reached over, and did it for me. What a turn-on!
Once he had my jeans and underwear down, he reached out and grabbed my dick with one hand and my nuts with the other. I was speechless as I watched him spit on his hand, then jerk me off. Oh, God! The way his soft, warm hand felt on my dick was amazing! It was so much better than it ever felt when I did it myself. It was almost an entirely different thing altogether. My back stretched and my legs tensed and my chest filled with tension and heat. And the way my boner throbbed and ached was something I'd never felt before either. It was just... how do you describe your first hand-job? And a nice, smooth, slow, wet one, at that. By someone who knows how to do it.
In less than a minute, I said, “Careful! I'm gonna go any second!” Then almost instantly, I came.
My ankles popped, my knees popped, my back arched, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. It felt like oatmeal. Or soft cottage cheese. And a lot of it! I was really blowing a nice one! It was hard to breathe, and I ended up mostly holding my breath, taking whining breaths between spasms that wracked my body from head to toes. Fucking amazing! I don't think I had ever jerked off standing up before, so getting my first hand-job while standing up was fucking intense!
His hand kept squeezing my dick, I guess milking out the last drops. It was too much, and I had to tell him to stop.
I took a real breath, and shuddered all over.
I opened my eyes and saw strings of my jizz on the floor. I'd shot tons. He began cleaning me up with the tissues, then the mess on the carpet. I saw his returned boner. I sat down and reached out for it as soon as he put the tissues in the can.
“Nah. Later. Okay?”
He smiled so cutely. I nodded. He put his erection away, and I almost pounced on him and begged him to let me suck on it some more right now.
“Thanks,” he said when he finished zipping up.
I laughed, then said, “Thanks, too.”
After a few seconds of real awkward silence, and awkward glances at each other, he asked, “So, wanna know?”
“How well you did? By comparison?”
“Oh! Yeah. So... ummm... how'd I do?”
I laughed, so embarrassed, but it was kind of important to know. I hoped he was honest.
“That thing you did to start, with your tongue and lips?”
I nodded when he paused, obviously to wait for my response.
“That was fucking amazing! No one's ever done anything like that! What were you doing?”
“Just, sort of, massaging it, with my tongue. And lips.”
“It felt like...” he trailed off, thinking, then finished, “I don't even know what! But amazing!”
I was so joyous!
“That was the best, man. Honest!”
His wide grin and the rest of his expression convinced me of his earnestness. I was overjoyed!
“Cool,” was all I could lamely come up with. And a stupid snicker.
“Man, that was something!”
“So, you might want to... again?” I asked, barely able to look at him.
He smiled so widely, and nodded, and said, “I'd like that.”
He turned violet. Really dark. Then coughed. Then he stared at me.
“What?” I asked, really softly, wondering what horrible thing he'd thought.
“I think I like it too much.”
I blinked, and had to ask.
“You think you might... be...”
“Maybe. I mean. I liked it. I don't care a guy gave me a blow-job. It was cool. And fucking good! And I'd do that again anytime.”
“Really?” I asked hopefully.
“Yeah. I don't think I'd pass up on going out with a hot chick, so don't think I'm gonna go gay, but...”
He looked really confused and worried.
“It's sex. How can you not like it?” I asked, and added a laugh.
He laughed, then smiled, and said, “Yeah. I still don't think I'm going to want to... give you one. A hand-job again, sure.”
I looked away to say, “I know I want to. You know. Do a repeat. Sometime.”
“In a few,” he laughed.
“Yeah?” I asked, looking at him, matching his huge grin.
So that was my first time. It wasn't our last time at all. We did it again twice that night, and then almost every weekend. Sometimes on days off school, too. He did eventually give me head. It was fucking incredible! Usually, though, I'd blow him while he jerked me off. I almost always came first.
I finally met a guy at school who was gay, too, and we ended up going together, so Jason and I never did again. He got a girlfriend a few weeks later. We stayed really good friends, and still are.