War Within

Anger and rage,
Forgiveness and love,
They War within me,
They push and they shove,
Against one another,
Again and again,
Confusion and madness,
This loss of a friend.

Grief and loss,
Patience and trust,
They War within me,
They parry and thrust,
Thoughts and memories,
I treasured and held,
Turned into ashes,
My belief in man felled.

Thoughts that he hates me,
Thoughts that it's a mistake,
They war within me,
They feint and they fake,
One thing that we promised,
Is that we'd never ignore,
The other person mails,
No matter the score.

Keep mailing him and hoping,
Or just give it up,
They war within me,
They slash and they cut,
The one whom I trusted,
Who said I helped out,
Has shut me out cold,
And left me in doubt.

He can't really mean it,
He knows what he is doing,
They war within me,
Constantly moving,
I turn and I spin,
My thoughts in a mess,
What did I do,
To deserve such distress.

To hide in the shadows,
Or risk much more pain,
They war within me,
Advantage neither can gain,
We share common grounds,
And will sooner or later see,
One another at some place,
Will he still avoid me?

Discarded like rotten meat,
How else should I feel now,
My best friend goes silent,
No why, what or how.

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          Poems - War Within Me